Anna Tambour and Others
Have you tried my blog? Like oysters to some, and like oysters to others. —Tickle your tastebuds— Ode to Literaturnaya Happiness = Soviet ice cream
"I hate quotations. " - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Becoming food is the final stage of living matter. Some are privileged to a delay of the foreshadowed end. They gain lifetime by being preserved. But a chosen few turn into objects and will never be crunched between the teeth of any other living matter.They live anonymous, comatose lives in the hidden food department of a museum." – Linda Roodenburg, Unidentified Fermented Objects, in Proceedings of the Oxford Symposium on Food and Cookery 2010 (I highly recommend the book) When I read …that most, if not all, of the global strategic maple syrup reserve had been stolen, my first response was not to fear for North America’s waffles or pancakes, but rather to wonder at the very existence of such a reserve.
– Nicola Twilley, Syrup Stockpiles, Wine Lakes, Butter Mountains, and Other Strategic Food Reserves, Edible Geography Let it roast indifferent long. – "Joan", cookbook writer of the 1600s, quoted in Taste: The Story of Britain through its Cooking by Kate Colquhoun Why should a word in a recipe be less important than a word in a novel? One can lead to physical indigestion, the other to mental. – Julian Barnes, The Pedant in the Kitchen Last I called by, Muntjac was roasting in the oven, surfaces brimming with mushrooms gathered, some dried, a hoard: Shaggy Parasols; Chanterelles, orange and sweet-apricot-scented; something blue. Another fellow appeared a basket in his hand large to gather wood, in it full – Penny-Buns, Ceps, plentiful as a baker’s. - Olivia Heal, Notes: On Forage, Mushrooms and the Noma Cookbook Emma lent me a crochet hook so I made many octopi. Several were worn as fascinators and all have found good homes." - Kathleen Jennings, here In the art of postmodernists hedonistic motives are rare; they are basically non-existent in installations and video art projects of recent years. As a kind of postmodernist response, with its intrinsic underlying irony, to the theme of oriental hedonism one can consider the part of a photo-collage diptych inspired by the verses of I. Brodskiy, "We lived in a city the color of petrified vodka". - Akbar Khakimov, Hedonism in Contemporary Art, San'at, (The magazine was created in accordance with the Decree of the Cabinet of Ministers of Uzbekistan 'About the Academy of Arts of Uzbekistan' ") "Like a couple at an okay party, who turn up late and spice things up: the horseradish [in a Bloody Mary] makes your sinuses fizz, the celery leaves tickle your cheeks, and and stalk, with the runnels of tomato juice in its furrows, makes an ideal instrument of emphasis in drunken conversation." - Niki Segnit, The flavour Thesaurus I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. - Lillian Hellman, in testimony before the US House Committee to Investigate Un-American Activities, 1952 More in The Cellar ØØØ
Anna Tambour stories that can be read online: The Oyster and Alice O. The Dog Who Wished He'd Never Heard of Lovecraft Stories & poems in the HMS Beagle: BioMedNet archive Temptation of the Seven Scientists The Emperor's Backscratcher
Travels with Robert Louis Stevenson in the Cévennes The Wages of Food-Play Klokwerk's Heart Me-Too
& Try Bowl of Critters an occasional snack
Now serving: The adventures of discovering the ellemehnopee Skin, Fiction, Mushrooms, & Progress Out-of-the-box Serving Suggestion The Mary Quant Jelly Thing & other surprises from the sea And in Heliotrope Magazine A long poem Succession At Quandong Creek
Asher E. Treat (1907 - 2004)
"Actually, Asher was an excellent dinner companion. Anybody who wears a loupe around his neck at dinner, and tells you how he finally trained his box turtle Mabel to listen to his commands (after 35 years), or sent small boys out to catch bats, and then explain how mites can only live in the left ear (right ear in the old world) of moths to evade the bats, or who would build a mammoth box kite and fly it half a mile high off Cobble, or who would play his French horn so that you'd hear it across the valley, Anybody like that makes an excellent dinner companion." - Edward Perkins, in a letter to A.T. — A little Treat — " The lepidopterist who seeks an easy introduction to the Astigmata had best leave his collection and visit the nearest cheese shop. "
Home of The Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Bulwer-Lytton a place of compassion in a cruel world
Anna Tambour currently
lives in the Australian bush with
a large family of other species,
including one man.
(Rosie, the beauty in the picture above, died on the 19th of January, 2006. Her tributes are firstly this, and then this.)
Qs and As
Some Seasoned Preserves
Winter August 2012
Tea moulds conviviate in a crazed pot.
Autumn March 2011
Summer December 2011 another Magnificent Insignificant
Spring October 2011 "Native peach" Trema tomentosa showing leaf curl that could be caused by a virus, though "peach" is caused by a delusion
winter July 2011 An oddly exhibitionistic mantis
Summer January 2009 Fresh from the ground, a cicada If we had been made in the image of Cicada, what price gold and rubies?
Books by A.T.
& Publications with Tambour
"Anna Tambour is a rogue
punk-prophetess whose writings not only stray from the beaten path;
some of them are so far out there that you can hear the distant
drums of strange story-tribes being awakened by her prose."
Review of Crandolin,
British Fantasy Society
NEW RELEASES October 2013 "Marks and Coconuts" (my paean to parrots) in from PS Publishing Postscripts #30/31 Memoryville Blues edited by Peter Crowther & Nick Gevers
"The Dog Who Wished He'd Never Heard of Lovecraft" reprinted from Lovecraft eZine #13, April 2012 in from Ticonderoga Publications The Year's Best Australian Fantasy & Horror 2012 edited by Liz Grzyb and Talie Helene
August 2013 CRANDOLIN shortlisted for the World Fantasy Award “With the appearance of her new novel, Crandolin, she will surely register Richter-powerful on the delighted synapses of all patrons of weird, funny fabulism ... But what’s really central to Tambour’s tale is the romance of food.” —Paul Di Filippo, Review, Locus Magazine Open Crandolin! “By turns lyrical and absurdist, whimsical and elegantly true, Crandolin is unlike any novel you will ever have read. Anna Tambour is brilliant, a true original.”
—Lucius Shepard "Most of all, this book is completely original. And how many times do you find a book like that? I read a few hundred of the blasted things a year, and even I only encounter one or two really, really unique books on a good year. If I don't read another book as original, whimsical, witty and wondrous as this all year, it will still have been a very good year. Heck, a very good decade." -Jayaprakash Satyamurthy, Review, Aaahfooey "At heart Crandolin is a rich confectionery, a tapestry woven out of dreams and nightmares, an Arabian Nights tale for the twenty first century with Tambour as
Scheherazade, lulling us with her mellifuous voice and artistry. I loved it, and didn’t want it to end." —Peter Tennant, Review, Black Static from Chômu Press . . . (with cover art by Christopher Conn Askew) CRANDOLIN “Immerse yourself in the magical world of
Anna Tambour’s Crandolin,a delirious journey that takes the reader through Central Asia and Russia with some fascinating strangers and a donkey, a demanding musical instrument and delicious hints of nougat and honey.”
— Ellen Datlow “A fairy tale Dostoevsky would have liked … It's like it was written by a demented chef.”
— David Kowalski "A sensuous pleasure to mind and senses; it breathes perfume and laughter. If Gogol and Huysmans had ever gone to a science fiction conference together and collaborated, the result would be Crandolin!" — Jack Dann "For gourmands literary and culinary, Tambour is always a treat, and Crandolin is Tambour at her best. Bold and subtle, rich and delicate, this is fiction to savour, fiction to sustain the soul."
— Hal Duncan
“Epicurean fantasy at its finest. Crandolin is an uncanny mating of passion and precision: that Anna Tambour is billed as ‘author’ and not ‘magician’ belies the virtuosity with which she coaxes a whirlwind of gluttonous carnality into her scintillatingly intricate narrative web.”
— Rachel Edidin “Funny and compelling, strangely wise about its worlds ... It can seem like a fun ride or a maze, yet Crandolin is never just a joke. When Tambour finally invokes one storyteller’s sense of “fear and joy,” it’s genuine; we can share in the feeling, at the end of a long, strange trip.”
— Faren Miller, Review, Locus Magazine
“Mephistopheles has nothing on this,
a helter skelter through time travel and cookery.
Bring me a Crandolin.”
— Tom Jaine BUY FROM The Book Depository - free shipping worldwide Amazon US Barnes & Noble Amazon UK Foyles UK
More Magazines and Anthologies with A.T.'s Short Stories "She writes so far left field that you need binoculars to see her." - Girlie Jones, Not if You Were the Last Short Story on Earth 2013 "God" and "Mother Hubbard's Cupboard" in Missing Links and Secret Histories: A Selection of Wikipedia Entries from Across the Known Multiverse edited by L. Timmel Duchamp published by Aqueduct Press
2012 "King Wolf" in A Season in Carcosa edited by Joseph S. Pulver Sr. published by Miskatonic River Press with more by Joel Lane, Simon Strantzas, Don Webb, Daniel Mills, Gary McMahon, Ann K. Schwader, Cate Gardner, Edward Morris, Richard Gavin, Gemma Files, Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Kristin Prevallet, Richard A. Lupoff, Michael Kelly, Cody Goodfellow, John Langan, Pearce Hansen, Laird Barron, Robin Spriggs, and Allyson Bird Free shipping worldwide from The Book Depository
"How Galligaskins Sloughed the Scourge" in Bloody Fabulous: stories of fantasy and fashion edited by Ekaterina Sedia published by Prime Books with more stories by Holly Black, Richard Bowes, Genevieve Valentine, Sandra McDonald, Sharon Mock, Zen Cho, Kelly Link, Shirin Dubbin, Die Booth, Rachel Swirsky, Maria V. Snyder, Nick Mamatas, and John Chu
"Murder at the Tip" in Light Touch Paper - Stand Clear edited by Edwina Harvey and Simon Petrie published by Peggie Bright Books with more stories by Joanne Anderton, Adam Browne, Sue Bursztynski, Brenda Cooper, Katherine Cummings, Thoraiya Dyer, Kathleen Jennings, Dave Luckett, Ian McHugh, Sean McMullen, Ripley Patton, Rob Porteous
The Dog Who Wished He'd Never Heard of Lovecraft Free to read, and/or download the audio version read by Bruce L. Priddy in Lovecraft eZine #13, April 2012 edited & published by Mike Davis
more free-to-reads:from Phantasmagorium #1 Decemberish 2011 edited by Laird Barron "Cardoons!" a terrifying tale of veg and WARNINGs Read Cardoons! online here
"The Oyster and Alice O." in FLURB a Webzine of Astonishing Tales Issue #12 "Fall–Winter" 2011 edited and illustrated (in paintings and photographs) by Rudy Rucker.
2011 New e-editions from infinity plus "Tambour could be called an infinity plus 'discovery' ... Monterra’s Deliciosa is a delicious collection of often startling and outrageous tales." – Paul F. Cockburn, Interzone, May-June 2011 "I have particularly enjoyed Monterra's fable, and have read it to my pigs Alice, Ferdinand and Isabella, who also appreciated its humour and scope."
–Tom Jaine This edition includes a
Even this infinity plus e-dition includes never-before-seen additives
Infinity Plus Singles #10 and #15
2010 Sprawl edited by Alisa Krasnostein Published by Twelfth Planet Press "Gnawer of the Moon Seeks Summit of Paradise"
Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine in #44, the cover story "The Eye of Nostradamus Summit" (cover art by Marc McBride) in #46 "How Galligaskins Sloughed the Scourge" in #42 "The Arms of Love and Death"
June 2010 "Dreadnought Neptune"
2009 Lovecraft Unbound edited by Ellen Datlow "Sincerely, Petrified"
2008 The Del Rey Book of Science Fiction and Fantasy: Sixteen Original Works by Speculative Fiction's Finest Voices edited by Ellen Datlow "Gladiolus Exposed"
Paper Cities: An Anthology of Urban Fantasy edited by Ekaterina Sedia Published by Senses Five Press "The Age of Fish, Post-flowers"
Year's Best Australian Science Fiction & Fantasy, Volume 4 edited by Bill Congreve & Michelle Marquardt Published by MirrorDanse Books "The Jeweller of Second-hand Roe"
Scary Food: A Compendium of Gastronomic Atrocity edited by Cat Sparks Published by Agog! Press "Tasty Morsels" & other stories
2007 EŞİK CİNİ 13 Two stories (The tiger and the mice & Sweat, Joy, and Thunderation) and an interview, translated into Turkish by Nurduran Duman Eþik Cini means 'Elf of Sills'
The Workers' Paradise edited by Russell B. Farr and Nick Evans "Seahoney"
Subterranean #7 edited by Ellen Datlow "The Jeweller of Second-hand Roe" Aurealis Award, Horror Short Story
Logorrhea: Good Words Make Good Stories edited by John Klima Order here or ask for it at your bookstore "Pococurante"
Interfictions: An Anthology of Interstitial Writing edited by Delia Sherman and Theodora Goss "The Shoe in SHOES' Window"
"The Syncopation Streak" Polyphony 6 edited by Deborah Layne and Jay Lake
"The Beginnings, Endings, and Middles Ball" Read it in Omnidawn's free sampler ParaSpheres: Fabulist and New Wave Fabulist Stories edited by Rusty Morrison & Ken Keegan
"See Here, See There" Agog! Ripping Reads edited by Cat Sparks
"The Slime: A love story" Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet No. 19 edited by Gavin Grant and Kelly Link
"The Cat Story" Andromeda Spaceways, #24 edited by Edwina Harvey
"There is No Rice Pudding in the Sea" Fantasy Magazine, #3 edited by Sean Wallace
in Mythic Delirium edited by Mike Allen a poem: "Trapped Words" Hear it read by Alistair Rennie
His eyelashes fluttered. 'Oh dearie me. You asked, and I'm telling you how it is. I never lie.'
I shot him a look that would pierce most people of my acquaintance.
He looked blandly back. However, he seemed truthful.
Angela Pendergast, escapee from the Australian bush, grew up with the smell of hot mutton fat in her hair, the thought of her teeth crunching a cold Tim Tam chocolate biscuit -- the height of decadent frivolity.
Now, though her tastes have grown and she knows absolutely what she wants, her life is embarrassingly stuck.
So when the Devil drops into her bedroom in her sharehouse in inner-city Sydney with a contract in hand, she signs.
He's got only a Hell's week to fulfil his side, but in the meantime he must chaperone her -- or is it the other way around?
The SF Site: Featured Review by Rich Horton "...a wicked, thoroughly unpredictable romp . . . Spotted Lily might just be a particularly inventive comic take on wish-fulfillment, but soon enough it strays far from the beaten path...a dizzying but delightful journey through old myths and modern chaos, turning Faust and Pygmalion on their ear as it cuts its own path toward something like self-knowledge." - Faren Miller, Locus
"I hate giving away the story, but allow me to say that this novel is not going where you think it is....teaming with genuine wit and humor... excellent writing...One thing I’m sure of is that it should be required reading for all those who go into writing fiction with dreams of great remuneration and fame. If it were, Tambour would already be both wealthy and famous." - Jeffrey Ford "One of the things I liked most about this book was that it was so difficult to tell where it was going...the book is so well written that for a lot of the time you don’t actually notice that it has a supernatural element to it." - Cheryl Morgan, Emerald City "It's passionate, it's intense, it's profoundly human and humane and honest, and, when it comes down to it, a hell of a read. I was sitting up late into the night to finish it. It's that good." - Keith Brooke
"This shocker . . . may well strike some like a bracing tonic and others like something a lot less palatable." PublishersWeekly Anna Tambour, on the strength of Spotted Lily and her earlier story collection, Monterra's Deliciosa & Other Tales &, is one of the most delightful, original, and varied new writers on hand. - Rich Horton
Perhaps you would like to read Chapter One
Published by Prime Books
Cover art for Spotted Lily:
The Artist by Norman Lindsay (Australian) c.1921, copyright © Lin Bloomfield
Stomates on scouring rush, electron microscope view, copyright © Dennis Kunkel Microscopy, Inc.
Book Design: Anna Tambour
and another Locus Recommended Reading List Selection
& Other Tales &
Introduction by Keith Brooke
Table of Contents
Temptation, indulgence, exploration and shortcuts. Love and compulsion. An ocean in Kansas, the Magic Lino, the real story behind the one told by Robert Louis Stevenson, a chef dying of ennui, gathering bluebirds, paying with candywrap. And the greatest story ever told -- by Asher E. Treat, of course. The glorious chaos of singing, prancing, perfumed and stinking, the dead and the busy, tragic and achingly otherwise--life itself.
"A winning, offbeat sensibility is at work in the 31 stories and poems that make up Tambour's first fiction collection, finding the lighter side of potentially sober themes and giving humanist spins to scientific ideas. Certain tales show an exotic spirit that puts them squarely in the magic realist tradition, while others reflect self-consciousness about the craft of writing. All but a handful of these stories are original to the volume, which makes a fine introduction
to a writer little known . . ." - Publishers Weekly
"Monterra's Deliciosa & Other Tales & could never be mistaken for ordinary genre fiction ...don't imagine this as high falutin' 'lit'rature' accessible only to people with advanced degrees. Anyone with a taste for beauty, audacity, sensuality, and wit can find much to enjoy here." - Faren Miller, Locus
What about Medlars? I admit it. These venerable individualists (and I've known many personally) have charmed me ― so much so that they star in "Valley of the Sugars of Salt" and have managed to shove themselves into cameo roles in a couple of other stories here.
virtuous medlar circle
Guest Feature Excreta, etc. by Bharatram Gaba Previous Features...
More Irresistibles More in The Cellar . . . October 2013
JUST RELEASED Stefano Manfredi's Italian Food: Over 500 recipes from the authentic to the modern and from the north to the south of Italy Manfredi is one of my favourite people, and his writing about food is the best writing there is, up there with the great Claudia Roden, because to him also, food is part of life, history, place. My story "Valley of the Sugars of Salt" is dedicated to him. Medicinal Plants in Australia - Volume 4 - An Antipodean Apothecary by Cheryll Williams I highly recommend all four volumes of this superbly illustrated and exhaustively researched series. These are wonderfully fat books, beautifully produced books, packed with trustable information and fascinating curiosities on every page. As the prisoner saying goes: "Those who never did time in Mordovia never did time at all."... Lieutenant Colonel Kupriyanov, who is the de facto head administrator of our colony. "You should know that when it comes to politics, I am a Stalinist." — Pussy Riot's Nadezhda Tolokonnikova: Why I have gone on hunger strike m to us. Heterodontus Portusjacksoni N Not just a girl PPinterest, "Lifestyle" and Walter Benjamin waWa The Fabulous Beast byby Garry Kilworthby The Folly of the World
by Jesse Bullington Murs à Pêches Mr Wigg
by Inga Simpson
by Chris Flynn
celebrating ~ C.C. Askew ~ Extraordinariest "His work challenges my descriptive abilities"
On "Unlikeable Characters" CCreeping Geezerdom' Jane and the Roadspidere Theatre of the Gastronomic Absurd Beet me up "Salicornia maritima and I go way back" Gopallapuram by Ki. Rajanarayanan translated by Pritham K. Chakravarthy = The Kitchen as Laboratory: Reflections on the Science of Food and Cooking
edited by Cesar Vega, Job Ubbink, & Erik van der Linden Leng Dadaoism (an anthology) edited by Justin Isis & Quentin S. Crisp s Porcelain vases - Botanicals by Natalie Blake l by Keith Brooke - One novel, two titles (Harmony in North America, alt.human elsewhere) Koumiss The sandals monument he e Navel gazing Dir Watch an ant colony take up residence inside a scanner over five years he The War of the Gnome and the Mountain Devil The nature of noise WWhen Suva had a Cinema Paradiso m Embrace an indie publisher! New vistas of irreality 20 Cats as Fonts
Some Previous Guest features The Apprenticeship of
Isabetta di Pietro Cavazzi by L. Timmel Duchamp Mama by Bharatram Gaba A Love Story by A.C.E. Bauer Terror Australis Incognito by Leone Britt Why Postmodernists Don't Climb Mountains by Alistair Rennie The Lowly Potato by A.C.E. Bauer Turcotte's Battle by Laura E. Goodin The Multidimensional Topology of Department Stores by Spencer Pate Come Tomorrow by Jayaprakash Sathyamurthy (honorable mention, Best Horror of the Year volume three edited by Ellen Datlow) Terminós by Dean Francis Alfar Don't Turn Loose & Heat by Ferris Gilli Why I like Nudibranchs, marine slugs with Verve by Hans Bertsch
The Lowly Potato
by A.C.E. Bauer 3 Poems
by Robert DeGraaff
Elegy for Brussels Sprouts
No Parking in Cambridge, Mass. The Apparatus by Neil Williamson Cat Flap by Chuck McKenzie CHARLES TAN A Retrospective on Diseases for Sale & The chicken spits the cook or Charles Tan Talks (an interviewish thing) A Stone to Mark My Passing by Lee Battersby On the Blindside by Sonya Taaffe Chaloupes by A.C.E. Bauer Four O'Clocks by Ferris Gilli Night of the Living Crickets by Spencer Pate Nobody Did Debris Like Jack Kirby by Jamie Shanks Oysters: A Few Words by Alistair Rennie The Fortunes of Mrs. Wu by Charles Tan & A dead-guests-can't-say-no Featured Classic THE HEAT AND BRIGHTNESS OF THE SUN "(including an experiment with the burning glass, that most boys have often tried)" by Sir Robert S. Ball